Is any household appliance/tool/fixture less appreciated than the toilet seat? No one ever thinks good things about toilet seats. They’re like baseball umpires: not noticed unless they’re not doing their job right.Except for the actual toilet—which we give fancy nicknames (Porcelain God, The Throne)—what item in our household is more disrespected on a consistent basis than the toilet seat?Not only does it have to endure the most disgusting aspects of human life, we ask it to do so while making us comfortable and safe. What other purpose does a toilet seat have except to keep us from falling in? It’s the first responder of household gadgets.
Lest you think that I’m wasting my time thinking and writing about toilet seats, picture this. Imagine you’re at an outdoor festival. You tried the world famous spicy nachos from the latest ultra-cool food truck thirty-five minutes ago. Your stomach’s rumbling. There’s a line ten people deep at the bathroom. After waiting your turn and then hustling inside in search of some relief, you open the door to the stall and see a toilet with no seat.If you could buy just one thing at that moment, what would it be?Now think about all the times you’ve used the bathroom at your house during the past year. How much of that would you have cared to do without a toilet seat?Get it?Since we now agree that toilet seats are worthy of our praise, and deserve at least a moment of appreciation, and a smidgen of respect, what else can we say about them?First, what’s the deal with this up-and-down toilet seat battle?“Why can’t men ever remember to put the toilet seat down?”On the list of stereotypically female thoughts, that sentence is just below “I want some chocolate.”All men lift the toilet seat before they pee, and then they forget to put it back down, and some poor woman goes into the bathroom, and either has to touch the disgusting thing to put it back down, or…or what? She doesn’t realize it’s up and falls into the toilet? What exactly are the consequences of a toilet seat left in the up position?I don’t know. And the reason I don’t know is because I don’t lift the toilet seat. Apparently, that puts me in the minority.But wait, don’t start yelling at me about being disrespectful, or ask me how I’d like it if I had to sit in a puddle of pee on the toilet seat.I don’t put the seat up because I don’t pee on the seat. How bad is the average male’s aim that they can’t direct their pee twenty-two inches downward without making a mess? And really, how much more hole real estate are we gaining by lifting the seat? If a man can’t accurately aim a quarter-inch stream of liquid into a ten-inch opening, do you really think he’s going to do any better with a twelve-inch opening?I bet not.And frankly, the thought of anyone having to touch the toilet seat to put it up or down, either in public or at home, is just vile. Thankfully toilet paper takes away some of the eww factor, but still, it’s better for all involved if the only thing touching the toilet seat are cheeks.Which brings me to my final point. Paper toilet seat covers are a human right. There should be a city department devoted solely to ensuring that any company that provides toilets for public use must also provide a plentiful supply of paper toilet seat covers.Without them, we might as well not have public toilet seats at all. From what I hear most women have mastered the art of hovering over public toilets. And I know many men who don’t necessarily hover, but will instead use toilet paper to cover the seat. God forbid any square centimeter of that repugnant, petri dish-like surface with its thin crust of who-knows-what on top touch any part of me.By the way, I think anyone who cleans a toilet should get some sort of reward. Remember Book-It? Pizza Hut would give a free personal pan pizza for kids who read a certain number of books. Why not having something like that for the saintly people who clean toilets?Good idea, huh? Right on target.Just like my aim!By the way, if you like what you're reading here, you should like my Facebook page, Brett Baker Writes.Type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
What Happened to Television Theme Songs?
I woke up this morning singing, “Maybe the world is blind/or just a little unkind.” If that doesn’t seem familiar to you, then let me give you a little refresher.Yes, it’s the theme song to Punky Brewster, the 1980s sitcom about the orphaned girl who finds a new and loving home with her foster father. I loved this show when I was a kid, not least because of its awesome theme song.(Also, it had an episode in which Punky scores some tickets to a Cubs 1984 playoff game. Spoiler alert: she gets to the park, finds out the tickets are bogus, and by some twist of fate ends up sitting in the Cubs dugout!)This happens to me every now and then. Out of the blue a television theme song will just pop into my head.“Boy the way Glenn Miller played…” (All in the Family)“Show me that smile again/Oooh, show me that smile…” (Growing Pains)“They’re creepy and they’re kooky/Mysterious and spooky…” (The Addams Family)“So no one told you life was gonna be this way…” (Friends)You’ll notice that all of those shows originally aired between the 1970s and 1990s, which brings me to my point. What happened to the catchy television intro theme song?Sitcoms used to always have theme songs, and from Gilligan’s Island to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, these songs were frequently catchy and people came to identify them with the show. The theme song sometimes seemed as important as any character on the show.Often the songs told the story of the show. However, lyrics weren’t always necessary. I can close my eyes and still hear some of the instrumental songs. The ER theme alone gave me confidence in those doctors. All those people on 90210 seemed so damn cool, and their rhythmic theme song sure didn’t hurt.Then at some point—probably in the past ten or fifteen years—the theme song virtually disappeared from network television. Most new shows don’t even bother with a theme song.Modern Family made a half-hearted effort at a theme song, but really just has a musical ten second intro more than a song. Same with How I Met your Mother, Mike & Molly and 2 Broke Girls. Parks and Recreation and 30 Rock do marginally better.So what happened? Why are networks so down on the theme song?There are a few reasons.First, by forgoing the theme song, the show has a little bit more time to develop the story. This seems like a valid point, but I’m not the first to point out that much of what is on television is plain crap. At least the folks who produced Family Matters realized that they could have a decent theme song and still have time to produce a crappy show.Second, there are financial considerations. If the show gains some time by not having a theme song, and they don’t use that time to tell the story, then maybe they can squeeze in another commercial. The fabulous 1970s show, The Fall Guy, devoted a full 100 seconds to its memorable intro, yet somehow lasted for five years, so I doubt another Buick commercial is really going to make or break a show.Third, producers are worried that if they delay the beginning of the show at all, viewers might turn to something else.I see their point, but I think they’ve got it wrong. I don’t think people are going to surf away from a show, but in the age of the DVR, it’s more likely they’ll just fast forward through it.And maybe that’s part of the problem. We now live in a time when we don’t even have to watch commercials. If we’re not going to watch the theme song, then why should a show have one?Luckily, there are a few shows in recent years that haven’t given up on trying to make a musical impression off the bat. Rescue Me, Nip/Tuck, The Americans, and Downton Abbey all have memorable intros that I’ve made a point to watch, even in the age of DVR.(Is it a coincidence that none of those shows are on regular networks?)Still, most shows today don’t have theme songs, and I think they’re missing out on the chance to achieve greatness and immortality.By the way, if you like what you're reading here, you should like my Facebook page, Brett Baker Writes.Type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
Songs, Tastes and Smells that Take us Back
Have you ever heard of Cucumber Sandwich popcorn?Yeah, me neither. But a local popcorn place here in Northwest Indiana devised this salty, dilly, delicious concoction to which I am addicted. I like salty, savory snacks, so maybe it’s no surprise that I’m such a big fan of the Cucumber Sandwich flavor.However, I think part of the reason I like it has to do with something I’ve been thinking about recently.For last night’s Blogapalooz-Hour challenge I wrote a post about missing yesterday. In writing the post, I thought of some things that I hadn’t thought about for quite some time.Usually when a latent memory surfaces it’s not because I’ve requested it. Rare are the moments when I, or anyone else for that matter, can sit down and think, “Bring me back to a summer day in 1997 when I owned that blue Pontiac Grand Prix.”Instead, we’re transported back to that day when A Long December by Counting Crows comes on the radio.Why is that?The power of smells, sounds and tastes to instantly transport us back to some moment is thrilling.The first time I tasted Cucumber Sandwich popcorn I immediately thought of eating a Steak ‘n Shake steakburger one late Friday night in the backseat of our family’s station wagon in the late 1980s. How did I get there?At the time there was no Steak ‘n Shake near our home, and my dad loves that restaurant. So every time we went to visit my grandparents—which was usually on a weekend, and often on Fridays after my mom got home from work—we’d stop at Steak ‘n Shake near there.And it turns out that the Cucumber Sandwich popcorn—maybe it’s the dill—tastes just like the pickles from a Steak ‘n Shake steakburger.It works with smells too.We didn’t see my other grandparents as often since they lived in New York. However, I have vivid memories of a particular smell from their basement. I asked my grandpa about this smell one time while he was visiting us in Illinois, and he said it was a bug repellent plant that my grandma bought.I’ve tried to track down this smell, but I’ve never succeeded. Ask me to describe the smell, and I’ll fail completely. But put me within 300 yards of a single particle of that fragrance and I’ll identify it instantly and be taken to a place 900 miles away and 25 years ago.Chocolate chip cookies, sage Thanksgiving stuffing, a certain unidentified floral scent, and freshly cut grass all have unique olfactory powers over me.Perhaps the most intense power of recall is attributable to music. I could probably write three or four separate posts entirely about songs that take me to certain places.A short selection:This incredible ham commercial song takes me back to being up late one night when I was a kid.Livin’ on a Prayer brings me back to my mom’s cousin’s house on Long Island and listening to Slippery When Wet on vinyl with his huge headphones.Two Princes by the Spin Doctors is a 1985 Dodge Daytona.Counting Blue Cars is hanging out at Valparaiso University one rainy afternoon while I was still in high school.I Try by Macy Gray is driving to Cleveland in a Chevy Lumina.I could go on and on, but these are my songs and my memories, and I’m getting tired from all of this bouncing around in time and place. You probably have your own memories and other songs, tastes and smells associated with them.You might not think you do, but you do. Because years go by and we change, and the world around us changes, but the songs, the smells and the tastes remain the same.And our brains are capable of performing wondrous things, like storing away memories without our knowledge.Then one day a song comes on the radio, or we taste a certain ingredient, or we smell a particular particle, and the memory returns. We’re in a different time. We’re in a different place.And we hadn’t even planned to leave.By the way, if you like what you're reading here, you should like my Facebook page, Brett Baker Writes.Type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
What I Miss the Most
One hour. Write about a person, place or thing that I miss.There are plenty of people I could write about, and I’ve traveled and moved enough that I’m sure I could think of a place that I miss.Turns out what I miss the most is a thing: yesterday.
I’m 13,250 days old. That’s a lot of yesterdays. Which means a lot of things to miss. I’m a rather nostalgic fellow, so I think of yesterday quite often. I think of things I did, I think of places I’ve gone, I think of people I’ve lost.None of them are more important than any other. They’ve all brought me to this date. They’ve all made me the guy sitting in front of a screen, moving his fingers and using just twenty-six letters to write some (interesting?) things.What are these things?Singing the theme song to The Courtship of Eddie’s Father with my mom.Listening to the Mike Shannon show on KMOX radio on Saturday mornings with my dad.The smell of crayons in the hallways of Carl Sandburg elementary school.Going to the summer movie camp on the other side of town with my sisters.Spending the night at my grandparents’ house and hearing the newspaper delivery man actually open the front door to the house at six o’clock in the morning to throw the paper in.My first Cubs game at Wrigley Field, sitting in the upper deck, and going down to box seats after the game so my dad could show us the field.The sense of wonder upon arriving in New York City after dark to visit my other grandparents.Taping coins to railroad tracks to see how flat they’d get.Dirt trails.A creepy stuffed clown with long arms, a pointy hat and hands with Velcro on them.Spending entire Saturdays at the Little League baseball field, playing baseball, watching my friends play, and giving myself a stomachache eating Chocolate Colonel Crunch Bars.Worrying whether Hulk Hogan will retain the WWF Championship.Eating at a Pizza Hut in Denver, Colorado.Standing in the back of a silver Nissan pickup, driving down a country road, screaming the lyrics to Tahitian Moon by Porno for Pyros.Skipping astronomy class to learn the lyrics to It’s the End of the World as We Know It.Jumping on the beds in a Motel 6 in Burlington, Vermont.Driving my girlfriend (now wife) home at eleven thirty at night, on snow covered roads, and hitting every red light along the way.Catching five fish in five minutes with my oldest daughter after not catching any for fifty-five minutes.Trivial Pursuit outside on the deck on a January night in Tennessee.The Little Log Chapel.The NICU nurse telling me my son began breathing on his own.My son laying on the floor, absorbing sunshine and knowing his liver was just fine.My daughter chewing on her fist before the cord was even cut.Pearl Jam. Alpine Valley.Climbing rocks at Joshua Tree.Man, going back and reading all of these things makes me ridiculously nostalgic. Maybe even sad.Luckily, two things are sure to counteract the sadness of missing yesterday.Today and Tomorrow.By the way, if you like what you're reading here, you should like my Facebook page, Brett Baker Writes.Type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
Please Quit Saying That! Part Two
My last post was an ode (Shakespeare’s invention) to my discontent (that’s another) over some people’s addiction (another) to using certain phrases. Languages are constantly evolving, and we’d like to think that evolution means improvement, but I’m not so sure.So here’s another rant (Thanks again, Shakes!) about annoying phrases.I concluded my last post with a sentence that began, “I feel like there’s more to say on this topic,” and then challenged you to find the annoying phrase in that sentence. If you didn’t find it, then I feel like you need to look again.When did feeling replace thinking?“I feel like I’ve already tried that restaurant.”“I feel like you deserve better than that.”“I feel like he should have done something differently.”What? Don’t you mean “I think” instead of “I feel”? When did a rational act become an emotional one? I like to think of myself as a sensitive guy, but for the love of God, if I’m doing a math problem I want to think that I know how to do it, not feel like I know how to do it.I don’t usually voice my opinion of the think/feel divide to people who begin sentences with “I feel,” but wouldn’t it be fun to say, “That’s great, but I prefer thinking about this topic instead of feeling about it”?Maybe not, since most people probably aren’t even conscious of the difference between the two. I’d probably receive a fair number of quizzical looks in response.I mean even more than usual.Another thing that most people don't think about is when their first answer to a question is, “Honestly,” followed by whatever they want to say.“Do you think this wine goes well with the meal?”“Honestly, I would have chosen a red instead of a white.”What use is the honestly at the beginning of the sentence? Whenever I hear someone begin a sentence with the word honestly I wonder if I should question everything they say that isn’t preceded by honestly. If you have to tell me that you’re being honest, is it safe to assume that most of the time you’re not being honest?Liar.Some of the most annoying language is found in the business world. There are certain phrases that I hear so often and from so many different people that I wonder if there’s some large meeting where everyone agrees on the phrases to use this year.I wasn’t invited to that meeting apparently.A few months back I happened across a feature on the Forbes magazine website in which they set up a tournament to find the most annoying business jargon. “Drinking the Kool-Aid” won the tournament, but I was pleased to find the phrase that annoys the hell out of me did very well.If I have to hear someone say, “I’ll reach out to,” someone again, I might just do a little reaching out of my own and rip their lips off.When did contact, or get in touch with, become reach out?“We’re trying to find an answer to this problem, so I figured I’d reach out to you to see if you had any suggestions.”Uh, don’t you mean you figured you’d call me?“Hey Grace, can you reach out to our supplier in Fort Worth to see how long we’re going to have to wait?”Just once I’d like for Grace to say, “No, Steve, I can’t reach out to our supplier, but I’ll contact them.”Maybe the “reach out” folks didn’t receive enough attention as babies so they’re always looking for someone else to get close to.In Forbes’ tournament, “reach out” made it to the final eight, but ended up losing to “it is what it is.” That might be the worst phrase ever. It’s so meaningless.“I don’t know what you want me to do about it, it is what it is.”“Thanks, Keith, I was so confused. For a minute there I thought it is what it isn’t. Now that I know that it is what it is, and not what it isn’t, it’s all clear.”By the way, if you like what you're reading here, you should like my Facebook page, Brett Baker Writes.Type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
Please Quit Saying That! Part One
It’s said that Shakespeare used around 17,677 different words in his writings. About one-tenth of those words, somewhere around 1,700, had never been seen before. Little Willie Shakespeare just made them up. And these aren’t obscure words that you’ve never heard before. You’ve probably used some of them today and not even realized that they first came from the pen of the Bard of Avon.Some words that Shakespeare invented: critical, gust, hint, countless, castigate, majestic, laughable, hurry and courtship. How would we describe some bloggers if he didn’t give us rant? And I’d like to personally thank him for one of my favorites: zany. And another that I’m a big fan of: undress.
We use some of those words so often that they’re critical (see?) to our language.
Of course Shakespeare isn’t the only one who has influenced the language. Ninety percent of the words he used were invented by someone else. So I realize that the way we speak and write is constantly changing. Languages evolve by adding new words, losing others, and finding new meanings and ways to use words and phrases. I get it.
However, for some reason that makes it no less irritating to me to hear how some words and phrases are used.
I’ve noticed over the past couple of years that the words really and seriously have become exclamations when used alone, instead of questions. And they’re never spoken in response to words, but instead are used when responding to actions. So when my youngest son spills the tea when he’s pouring it into his glass, my oldest daughter cries out, “Really!” Although if I wanted to properly punctuate it I’d write “Really!?” since it’s part exclamation, and part question.
A quick check of the Oxford English Dictionary and Thesaurus.com show no relation between really and seriously, but they’re used interchangeably. If a seriously/really overuser hails a cab and a guy steps in front at the last minute and sits in the cab, the overuser is just as likely to exclaim “Really!?” as “Seriously!?” I suppose it’s just an expression of disbelief, but if you want to annoy those who overuse either expression, it’s fun to respond to their question.
“Really!?”
“No, pretend!”
Or, “Seriously!?”
“No, I’m kidding.”
Just be sure to duck because overusers aren’t likely to see the humor in your reply.
Much to my delight, “Really!?” and “Seriously!?” will eventually wane in popularity. That seems to be what happened with “I know, right?” and the shortened, simpler, “Right?”
Around this time last year it became almost impossible to have a conversation with some people without their response to every sentence being “I know, right?”
“I think this salsa is too spicy.”
“I know, right?”
Or, “I wish that cheesecake was an acceptable breakfast food.”
“I know, right?”
At some point, the “I know” disappeared from the phrase, and it just became “Right?”
“McDonald’s hamburgers smell better than they taste.”
“Right?”
I’ve looked for differences between “I know, right?” and “Right?” but they seem to be used interchangeably, and they’re almost never necessary. If someone says something I agree with, I prefer, “I think so too,” or “You’re right.” No need to respond to my statement with a question. I just told you what I think, why are you asking me if what I think is actually what I think?
“I know, right?” is almost as fun to mock as “Really!?” and “Seriously!?” though. When my oldest daughter employs “I know, right?”—which, in her defense, she does much less frequently than she used to—I love nothing more than to respond in my best valley girl voice with “IK,R?”
Sounded out that’s “I K comma R question mark” The fun of that almost outweighs the annoyance.
I feel like there’s more to say on this topic, but I like to keep these posts somewhat short, so I’ll continue next time with part two. However, if you read that last sentence carefully you’ll get a preview of the next annoying phrase on my radar. And if none of this makes sense to you, then you’re the person using these phrases too much.
Seriously.
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PB&J the Right Way
On the Great Husband and Wife Argument Scale, the question of how to properly make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich might not seem like a big deal, but it is. And if you disagree, then you’re obviously not a PB&J aficionado like me.My wife and I have an ongoing “discussion” (pleasant argument) about the proper way to make the most famous sandwich in America. There are really only two possible ways to make the plain old PB&J.The first option is to spread jelly on one piece of bread, and then peanut butter on the other, and then bring the two together.The second option is to spread the peanut butter on a piece of bread, put the jelly right on top of the peanut butter on the same piece, and then put the other piece of bread on top.I’ve never searched Google for the answer, because frankly, in this instance, I don’t care what Google has to say. The answer is clear. I’m the decider.It’s completely obvious that the second option is the better way to go. By putting both ingredients on the same piece of bread, I’m left with a pure piece of bread on which I can scrape off any excess peanut butter or jelly as I make the sandwich. No waste. Easy cleanup.Making the sandwich my wife’s way leaves no clean piece of bread on which to scrape the second ingredient excess. I don’t even want to consider the amount of jelly being wasted in our house just by using this less-than-ideal technique.(Here’s where I admit that I’m not above licking a knife clean after making a PB&J. However, I feel somewhat barbaric when I do so, hence my aversion to putting myself in such a situation.)The other argument for the second option has to do with chemistry. I took chemistry in high school, and I’m pretty sure one of the lessons that the fabulous Mrs. Strawbridge taught us was that a bond is stronger when two “chemicals” mix, rather than when they’re just on top of each other.Putting the peanut butter and jelly on the same piece of bread makes sure they get to know each other and really bond. One absorbs the other until you can’t tell what’s PB and what’s J.By slathering each on a separate piece of bread and then bringing them together you’re cheating them of the chance for a real bond. It’s like making a chocolate chip cookie by putting the chips on top of the cookie instead of inside it!There is good news though. PB&J is similar to pizza and ice cream: even when it’s bad, it’s good. So my wife can continue to make her PB&J sandwiches the wrong way, and she’ll still enjoy a good sandwich. She just won’t enjoy the great sandwiches that I do.Speaking of great sandwiches, the PB&J isn’t a one-trick pony. Since I’ve already explained the basics, let’s get a little bit more advanced. If you’re feeling adventurous, try these variations.1. Peanut butter and jelly on saltine crackers. It takes a delicate hand when making them, and you’ll have to make about ten to equal one sandwich, but the care and the labor are worth it.2. Peanut butter and raisins. This began as an emergency jelly substitute, but it has stuck around on its own merit.3. Peanut butter and bacon on toast. My dad’s been eating these for at least thirty years, so I’m not chalking this up to the Bacon is God craze of recent years. The toast melts the peanut butter, and crispy bacon provides a salty crunch that’s perfect.4. The double-decker. When a single PB&J won’t do, but two seems like too much. Layers of divine goodness, from the bottom, up: bread, PB, J, bread, PB, J, bread. Wow!By the way, in case you’re wondering what makes me qualified to pontificate on such matters, you should know that unlike most human beings, whose PB&J consumption probably peaks in childhood, my consumption continues to rise as I age.PB&J for lunch? Of course. Dinner? Make it two. Breakfast? Why not? Midnight snack? Might as well.Type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
How to Tell the Difference Between Kids and Dogs
I like dogs. I understand why people have dogs for pets and why people love their dogs so much.
That being said, I’m still amazed at the phenomenon of people referring to dogs as their kids. It seems like almost every dog owner that I’ve ever met has done this.
If you refer to your dog as your kid because you feel a deep emotional attachment to him, or he seems like part of your family, or you appreciate the dog’s loyalty, then great. I’m happy you feel that way. Refer to your dog as your kid all you want. (I’m sure you’re thrilled to have my blessing!)
However, if you refer to your dog as your kid because you genuinely can’t tell the difference, then I’m here to help!
Here are some tips that should assist you in telling the difference between Fido and your kid (unless your kid’s name is Fido, but that’s a different post):
1. A kid won’t sniff a person’s crotch the first time he meets them.
2. If a kid is dragging its butt across the carpet, it’s probably because she hasn’t yet learned to walk, not because of an irritated anal sac.
3. When your kid kisses you, it’s not right after he licked his butt.
4. Kids and dogs might both eat from a bowl, and they might both make a mess. So that’s not a good tip. However, keep in mind that it’s okay for the dog to eat any food the kid drops. It’s not okay for the kid to eat any food the dog drops.
5. Bob Barker has no opinion as to whether you circumcise your kid.
6. If you let your kid hang his head out the window while you drive, you’ll probably get arrested.
7. It’s not acceptable to put a lice collar on your kid.
8. You probably won’t think it’s adorable if your kid hops up on your bed and sleeps on your head.
9. Your kid will become self-sufficient…eventually.
10. Kid smiles aren’t creepy.
11. Your kid knows he can’t catch a squirrel.
12. When a dog hugs your leg it’s not because he’s shy or scared.
13. A kid wears a costume because he wants to; a dog wears a costume because you want him to.
14. Your kid’s food didn’t smell the same when he ate it as it does when it’s coming out.
15. Kids won’t drink from a toilet.
16. A kid will chew on her feet, a dog will chew on your shoes. *Note: Only babies should chew on their feet. I have no tip if your eight-year-old is chewing on her feet or her shoes.
17. Kids smell the same whether wet or dry.Obviously there are probably exceptions to the tips above, but they’re really just a matter of degrees. For instance, my kids have run after squirrels in the mistaken belief that they would catch them. That might lead you to believe that my kids are dogs.
Au contraire.
When the squirrel runs away—say, up a tree—my kids will realize the squirrel is gone and move on to something else. If they were dogs they would run to the tree, stand at the bottom and bark for ten minutes. Are they expressing disappointment that the squirrel got away? Are they demanding that the squirrel come back down and meet its fate?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So you’ll have my little cheat sheet for the next time you have to tell the difference between a kid and a dog. I hope it’s helpful. It’s obviously not all encompassing, and perhaps some of these rules don’t apply to your dog, or your kid.
But come on, I think we can all agree that dog smiles are creepy.
By the way, if you happen to have a young goat for a pet, feel free to call that your kid.
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